My Soliloquy

After developing and manipulating some photographer’s images it was time to create my own. First of all I had to find a soliloquy or a piece of text that appealed to me. I am a big fan of music and enjoy listening and learning about lyrics. I thought I could make my Soliloquy image more personal to me by using a few of my favourite song lyrics that reflect my own soliloquy. I did some research and found a few lines that I thought would be appropriate for my idea...

Idea 1

"You left such a strong resonance 
Just to feel you all around
I know you're watching over us
like the angel you've always been"

This is a song by a band named "Black Tide" it is personal to me as it reflects on losing a loved one. About a year ago I lost one of my biggest hero's. My Grandma. I didn’t see her often but got frequent phone calls and letters. She had MS and unfortunately became paralyzed but was still able to speak. At her funeral my grandpa said, "Alma never felt sorry for herself, that was what makes you weak, life brings hardship but you've just got to fight through it" My grandma made a big impact in my life as I ended up in a broken home, she said those exact words to me which helped me through. I could talk to her for hours and hours but unfortunately she’s now gone. Every time I listen to this song (Into the Sky) I think of what she said to me.

For my First Idea I thought of using a family snap shot of myself and my grandma and manipulating it by adding these lyrics to the image.

Idea 2

"Take back every word I've said, ever said to you.
Take back every word I've said, every word I've said."

One of my Favourite band's is "Bring Me the Horizon" I've seen them live twice. The first in a University Hall and the other At Reading Festival. I had an incredible experience at both the concerts know matter the difference in size. But I found that a built up anger was released in every song they sang. At both concerts I felt the anger that had built up inside me being released and let out.

I have an idea of using a dancer for this image. I want to involve an essence of movement in my image rather than using text like my previous experiments. I have a really exciting idea of having a dancer improvise to this song I have chosen using her own perspective to create feeling and emotion through her body. I want to have a dark/gothic setting or environment for my image. I would love to have the dancer wearing all black and be able to use my make up and hair interests to make her look the part. As well as a collection of images I would love to make a film of this which i personally think would give a deeper insight into the song and the dancer’s movements.

Idea 3

"I see you lying next to me
with words I thought I'd never speak
Awake and unafraid
Asleep or dead!
I am not afraid to keep on living
I am not afraid to walk this world alone"

Music completely changed my life when i heard of a band named "My Chemical Romance" one of their songs called "Famous Last Words" had a big impact on me through harsh times when growing up.

This song carries a lot of hope, so i feel my image would have to reflect on hope. I would like to use the theme of fashion photography once again for this image. But i would also like to develop my Photoshop skills so maybe manipulate the images. I know i want a lighter happier environment to photograph in, in contrast to my previous idea. Maybe using another elegant model but her out-fit and makeup to be more gentle and elegant. Light is usually a representation of hope so maybe experimenting with lighting could justify my subject and my image.

Development of Idea 1

For my first idea I had to find an image of my grandma and myself, I looked through an old photo album I found in the loft, and discovered two images. The first image was of my Gran holding me as a baby. The second was a snapshot of the "Lavery" family. I scanned them on to the computer so I could manipulate and edit them into a final image reflecting on the song (Into the sky)

I want to manipulate these photos to add a more grainy and old fashioned effect to them. My Gran was born during World War two, the times where photography was only in black and white and sepia. I thought manipulating the photos to the old fashioned style of photography could help symbolise and reflect on my grandma's life. i also wasn to manipulate text ito the image, the lyrics by Black tide, that to me reflect on ho wi feel abou losing my Gran. 

In photshop I used an image of old cartridge paper to layer beneath the image of me and my Gran. I turned the opacity to 50% on the top layer of the original image and desaturated it to make it black and white

i wanted to make the image more grainy so i used the halftone pattern tool to add more texture to the image

after manipulating the image i added the text, the same way I did when manipulating Gregory Crewdson's image. I layered it over the original image anf lowered th eopacity, by multiplying the layer some of the letters's contrast lowered over the imag eof my gran. after tweeking I ended up with this final image.

I did the same to the other image of my family however i did not add the text as I thought it was to unclear on the image above and brought he eye away from the actuall image as the viewer would find it difficult to read.

I dont think these images are as good as they could be to me theyre not personal enough, i thought of the work of duane michels and his image of him and his father. Michaels wrote by hand onto the image to add a more personal reflection and mark the image with his own thoughts. i thought this would be a great idea to finalise my image. I printed my images off and on the one of my Gran and I i wrote all the lyrics to (into the sky) and on the other o wrote a letter to my Gran.

 

 Idea 2

For my second Idea I had a voluntary model named "Emilie" an A level dance student, she had the perfect face structure hair and talent for my video. I sent her the song I wanted her to dance to and she created her own dance to portray the aggressive yet vulnerable and upsetting theme of the song. 

I asked her to wear a skirt I made in Art which was black and splattered with paint; along with that she wore a black top and some socks. I decided not to do extreme makeup and hair as I thought it would draw away from the dancer’s movements which were my main focus. We found an empty changing room which I thought was a great space to use, i wanted a pitch black room but that was asking a bit too much so we just pulled the blinds down and lit up one of the walls with a lamp. The light formed the dancers shadow move across the wall which I thought was beautiful and complimented the emotion in her movements. I filmed Emilie form 5 different view points. Far away, close up, below, above and randomly. Ending up with 4 full videos and lots and lots of short clips. I used the night vision setting as colour drew away form the melancholy movements and emotions. 

After filming I decided to do some photography, I used sport mode to photograph her movements so I captured lots of unfocused images that when put together create a dancing animation 

After Photographing movement I wanted to have some reflective photos. I used the same lamp I used for the videos to reflect off the models face. I wanted to capture sadness and anger. So I asked Emilie to listen to the song again and show me how she felt with her expressions and body language. I took some of these in colour as I noticed the saturation from the light and her skin tone added more darkness to the image. Here are a few of my favourites from the shoot...

 For my photo shoot with Emilie we just listened to the song over and over again. Her body language changed as the music changed key and the words became more aggressive.

I took a few close up shots and positioned the light so a shadow was drawn across the side of her face. I wanted to symbolise the light as sadness and anger. The light for sadness and the darkness as anger.

 This is one of my favourite images out of the whole photo shoot, even though it isnt in focus it I love the the eerie feel to the image

I used all the videos I recorded of Emilie to create my final video. I used Windows movie maker which is the most stressful movie editor but I finally got a final video. It took four hours and still I would like to edit it some more but this was the final film 

Idea 3 

I was very worried as I couldn’t find a model for my final idea but fortunately my gorgeous friend helped me. I wanted an elegant and beautiful girl for my idea as my images needed a natural essence to it as i wanted to photograph in a natural environment with natural lighting. I went down to the beech with my model. It was a windy and cold day but my model was willing to wear nothing but a little white dress and tights. Her look was the perfect image I wanted as her skin is fair and her hair is bright, the contrast with her bright hair and the pale sky added more light to my images. I first did an hour photo shoot with Mimi I took a few images with the sunlight behind her, some in front and some to the side. I wanted the light to reflect the hope I’ve had in my own life. Which it did in all the images as it reflected off the models hair and skin, the wind also carried an essence of hope as it blew through her hair. I selected a few of my favourite shots form the shoot that I thought reflected hope dew to lighting and the beauty of my model ... 

These three imagesaresome of the first images I took in the shoot, I wanted Mimi to sit on the groins along the beech and just think.  She sat with the wind towards her so hair was captured waving through the air. I love this image as her bold red hair contrasts with the pale lighting and ocean. I wanted the lighting to be natural so I just used the lighting that was offered. It was a dull day however the sun shone through sections of the clouds which added texture but also a smooth beam of light to the image.  

As I had a new camera I wanted to experiment with the effects. I have one effect called sketch which manipulates a photo into a drawing style. I took an image of Mimi as the wind was blowing through her so it could capture specific strands. It formed into this image which I love because of the cartoon style of it. I love the texture of her hair and the simplistic details of her face.

 I took a few shots close up as Mimi was looking towards the ocean. I only wanted to capture part of her and some of her hair. I thought the contrast between her fair and smooth skin would look beautiful against the Bright and bold red hair that is textured greatly because of the wind. 

I shot one image of her face on, with the light behind her. this made her skin and hair have a darker colour pallet and the background had more reflective light  I thought the contrast of the dark and light colour pallet  could symbolise the dark times in life that are overcome by the hope and lighter times in life. her facial expression is neither happy nor sad but in the middle. her eyes are a deep blue which makes them seem more passionate and brighter in the image. I wanted her hair out of her face so i could reflect on the beauty of humanity ( my model) with the beauty of natural life (the sky and sea)  

Famous last words is the name of the song I have quoted this idea from. It is form an album by the band "My chemical romance" called "the black parade". "the black parade" is a rock opera centering around the character of "The Patient". It centers around his passage out of life and the memories he has of his life. "The Patient" dies and death comes for him in the form of a parade. This is based upon Gerard Way's belief that death comes for a person in the form of their fondest memory, in this case seeing a parade as a child.

“In an interview with The New York Times, singer Gerard Way was quoted as saying, "At first I thought [the patient died], but the more I think about it, the more I think he's not dead. Maybe this is all in his head. Maybe he can fight. Now I think he has a choice to live." The song's meaning is generally open to interpretation, as said before, because its lyrics never really tell one way or the other whether the patient dies. Ray Toro (the lead guitarist) said this is his favorite song on the album because it leaves you with a little hope”

I wanted the process of some images to reflect on the meaning of the song. The process of these two images above formed the models body language and facial expression. Mimi is a close friend of mine and we both share our thoughts and feelings to one another. She knows about my life and I no about hers. I asked her to reflect on things in life that have made her, her good and bad. the things that define who she is now and who she wants to become. I said to her that the quote I am using for these images are "i am not afraid to keep on living, i am not afraid to walk this world alone" so i want them to carry reflection of life and hope. the first image to me seems like a longing as though she is looking or reaching for something in the distance however only her head is turneed so she seems unable to find the thing she is looking for. The second image to me is her thinking of a memory that hurt her or effected her, but if that memory never happend she wouldnt be where she is now so is thankfull. I think this due to the bowing head but also the slight smile on her face.

This is my final image as it is my favourite out of the final 100.

. I thought this photo reflects beauty, nature, hope, achievment, determination and passion.

The beauty of the image comes from the enviroment of the setting. the crashing waves provide an essence of movement to the image that can be both angry and calm. The waves to me symbolise the frustrating moments in life that you have to fight through to overcome. I also think the beauty of the model and the strong outline of her face provide a simple yet stunning viewpoint of the model. What I like most about the photo is the elegance and beauty of her facial expression. Her eyes compliment the water in the background and her bold red hair contrasts with the smooth texture of her skin. My main focus for this shoot was to carry hope in my images.

The words "I am not afraid to keep on living, I am not afraid to walk this world alone" were greatly reflected in an animation I created from a sequence of photos where my model walked towards the camera.

For the overall final image, I wanted an honest and reflective image so i decideed not to use the profiles of Mimi or Emilie . But instead to use images from the sequence of images that made up the animation. I selected a few images that I thought stood out due to the exagerated movemnet and distorted effects emilie had made through her dancing.
 

I editted each image. i messed around with the

levels so each photo had a lowere brightness

and a higher contrast

 

 This is one of my favourite images due to the distorted effect the movement brought to the image. i love how her face has been stretched up wards so it seems her eyes have popped out and her teeth seem sharp this brings quite a gruesome and unatural look to the image . However this image was not manipulated at all it was all due to the emotions the music made her feel and how those emotions effected her body and facial expressions. To me the image is quite sincere but contains so much desperation. Her hand is elegantly touching the creamy wall but her other arm seems to be defoemed form the movements . her face is someehat horrifying but at the same time the strain in her neck, and how her head is looking upwards adds a sense of saddness and desperation to the image.

 

 

 

 Contrasing with the pevious large image thsi image below, is tender and inncoent. The hair that has swept accross her face provides a barrier from her emotions. however you can vaguely see her eyes are closed and her mouth slightly open, as though peacfully sleeping. however her arms are also forming a barrier or some sort of wall around her as she has wrapped herself in them as though trying to protect herself, it could be sen as a way of protecting her innocence, from her anger and darker side.  

 For my final image i chose this one. I decided to use this one as it is simple but carries so much energy, emotion, and darkness.